Wednesday, November 21, 2007

to GI Gym Guy

Dear GI Gym Guy,

I greatly apologize for ignoring you while you were talking to me. I didn't realize that the woman you brought to the gym was your sister. Though you were clearly facing me, I thought you were talking to her from across the room. Please know it's not in my nature to completely brush people off. In fact, I'm a very friendly person once you get to know me...

Which leads me to my next point. GI Gym Guy, you don't know me. Clearly, I don't know you. Did it ever occur to you that there is a reason for this? I'm sure that the exotic women who surround the military base you're usually stationed at (1) look like me and (2) flock to you like white on rice. However, this is California - not the random third world country you happen to be stationed at. When I go to the gym, I'm actually there to work out, and not "keep you motivated," as you mentioned. Your random cat calls while I'm hard at work doing squats, lunges and yoga stretches does not interest me whatsoever. In fact, it sparks the urge to kick you in the balls - a random act of vengeance I am more than happy to do. However, knowing you, you'd actually see that as foreplay.

Please GI Gym Guy, when at the gym, I kindly suggest you pay attention to your own workout.

Yours Truly,
The Fierce Runner

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