Tuesday, October 19, 2010

some house cleaning...

There seems to be a major misunderstanding about this post. While I enjoy my right to free speech, I fully acknowledge that free speech is NOT consequence-free. Sometimes there are misunderstandings and feelings get hurt. In truth, I stand by my rant. They are true and honest feelings, all of which I have the right to express. However, it does concern me when my rant is misconstrued as an attack. With that, I greatly apologize to anyone who felt I was rejecting the LBN Challenge or any nutrition plan that the gym supports. In no way was I trying to attack anyone, reject the challenge, or put their reputations on blast. The plan is working out great for a lot of people. It's working for me, but I'm finding I need to incorporate some tweaking.

With that, there are some things that I want to clarify...

(1) When I claimed I was over it, I meant it. However, I do acknowledge the value of limiting my carbohydrate intake.  In fact, going low carb is actually good for me and my goal of letting go of some of the diabetes medication. My blood sugar levels are lower than they have been for a long time and it's due to the way I've altered my eating. No arguments there. However...

(2) ...as I mentioned in my post, some of the counting does not make sense. While I could eat meat freely (because 1-1.5g protein/lb of body weight goes VERY far), it was coming to a point where I couldn't eat vegetables freely. For example, at the end of the day, I would be at my carb limit (my previous post explains how fast 30g goes). For dinner, I'd want to make a caprese salad. But I couldn't because the vegetable content would put me over my carb count. It didn't make sense to me that I could not have this salad, but I could have t-bone steak. This would stress me out and on some nights, I just wouldn't eat because I couldn't negotiate what I wanted (a salad) and what I was allowed to have (a steak). While steak dinners are yummy, I was simply tired of the protein and it wasn't making me feel good. (Judge all you want, but I like the idea of taking a shit. I don't like smelling like a meat locker.) The stress of figuring out what to eat was raising my blood sugars. My waking blood sugar levels went from a low 100-115 to a high of 140-150. The stress of keeping a low carb count was defeating the purpose of maintaing a low blood sugar count....

(3) This is why I decided that this silly dilemma of negotiating veggies was not worth extra stress. When I said that I was giving up, I was simply declaring that I was giving up on counting the veggies. I think veggies should be eaten freely. Mind you, I'm not eating high carb veggies likes yams. I'm mostly eating eggplant, tomatoes, greens, avocado, etc. (For the record, since I decided to eat my veggies freely, my sugar levels are back to where they need to be.)

(4) When I mentioned that I was going to consult with my friend, I was NOT rejecting the One World/paleo/primal method and replacing it with Maria's method. I'm a scholar. It's my job to diversify my tool set. She offered a conversation and I accepted.

(5) Yes, I still think rejecting fruit is an act against nature. This doesn't mean that I advocate eating a pound of mangoes. Nor did I go on an all-you-can-eat fruit binge. (I can see where the assumption comes from. I'm fat. And fat people, apparently, do fat things like that.) I still understand the importance of carb counting. I was simply trying to say that for the sake of my sanity, I don't want to look at fruit as if it's the enemy. Fruit is good. I'll eat it when I feel it's appropriate for me to do so. Nuts are also good. Like fruit, I will eat them when I feel it's appropriate for me to do so. For the sake of the challenge and getting a true three month blood reading, I have decided to opt out of eating fruit and nuts. Yes. This makes the challenge even harder than it needs to be. (This also means I get to bitch and moan more than most!)

(6) Finally, everyone has an idea of what good eating is. There are a million books and experts that have something to say on the matter - all of which I'm willing to listen to and take note of. However, at the end of the day, I get final say over my body and what I put in to it. I'm the one with type II diabetes. I'm the one who has to live with the consequences of this chronic disease (including the fact that with my age and being diabetic, the likelihood of having children is small and highly risky; while I am in no position to have a child right now, it's a reality that breaks my heart). I'm also the one who is trying to manage this in a way that is sustainable and goes beyond the challenge. As I said before, I am looking to have a healthier relationship with food - one that allows me to resort to food to heal and fuel my body. I do not want to lose out on the pleasures of food. While I may get frustrated with the process, I reserve the right to feel whatever I want to feel with the process.

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